On Virality And Reality

And how to step out of the hamster wheel

This week I had a post go somewhat viral on LinkedIn.

Over 15k impressions, 300+ new followers, and a bunch of new connections and conversations… viral compared to what I’m used to on that platform.

I’ve had other instances of modest virality. 100k impressions here, 75k impressions there. And I’ve started to notice a pattern in myself.

One that I believe many of us suffer from.

The dopamine hit goes hard.

It gets you flying.

And coming down to a proper landing is not as easy as one would imagine.

Building anything online nowadays goes hand in hand with growing an audience that will potentially consume or buy what you’re doing. Whether that’s entertainment, software, or pottery, there’s no escaping the reality of demand and offer.

And because offers are plenty.

We have to build our own demand by means of announcing our existence.

Drawing people into our vision by talking incessantly about what we do, how we do it, and why we do it.

Because that which isn’t known, can’t be experienced nor bought.

And most of this talk starts as a silent conversation with the void.

For as much as the whole world is on the internet, finding real connection and resonance is one of the hardest things to achieve in our world today.

So you strap your brave boots on, face your fear of failure and ridicule, and you start talking to the void. And slowly but surely, you reach some people. You start connecting and you grow an audience and community.

I won’t sugarcoat it.

It’s a tough job.

You become a slave to the algorithms. Empty technology vessels that need constant feeding and sacrifice to grant you digital relevance in return. But they seem almost alive. Whimsy and petty, their behavior ever so unpredictable, it feels like dealing with a sadistic online god that enjoys our suffering.

And it doesn’t matter how leveled, centered, and balanced as we might consider ourselves to be.

These machines and systems, are made to toy with our emotions by design.

They were conceived for the one and only purpose to have us compete and beg for attention. To be hooked. Glued to our screens. Eternally drawn to the glow like moths to a flame; forever in danger of burning ourselves alive.

And this is hard enough for every human. It’s become an accepted pain of our shared experience of the modern world.

But when you tie it to your livelihood and your dreams. When you pour your heart and soul into making it work, in the hopes that it will draw the right people in.

It becomes this incredibly toxic relationship.

One as volatile as the forsaken charts you end up looking at everyday going up and down like deranged rollercoasters carrying your sanity, wellbeing, and sense of worth.

So when you get a massive hit. When you go viral.

Your brain goes crazy.

‘Isn’t this what we’ve been working for? Haven’t we won?’ — It asks itself.

Well, my dear buddy. Yes and no.

Because just as fast as the curve raises.

It comes crashing down.

And now there’s a peak forever recorded in your data. One you compare to harder than you would to anything else.

Because that peak, that “success”, was of your own making.

So you will feel compelled, obsessed even, to chase that high again.

To replicate that win.

But often times there’s no resulting blueprint. No replicable process.

At times even, there’s not a single fucking learning.

The fact is, when we expose ourselves to all of this, it’s incredibly easy to loose all sense of reality.

And the solution is to find our way back to it, and away from chasing virality.

To focus on quality over quantity.

Think about it. Two to three hundred people is the average size of a theater.

When was the last time you had the chance to speak about whatever it is that you do to 300 people?

On the internet, counting impressions and views, makes us forget how many people we are actually reaching.

But behind those numbers there are actual humans.

Humans with needs and interests.

Humans with agency that choose to follow, support, and buy what adds value to their life.

By focusing on quality and delivering consistent value. We will inevitably grow within our desired communities.

Because they will be naturally drawn to what they need.

But because we obsess over metrics and quantity, we forget to fulfill that connection.

We’d rather get an extra 100k impressions than connect, really connect, with the 50, 100, 500, people who are consistently following our journey and taking an actual interest.

So this is a reminder for myself really.

One that I hope can help others.

A reminder to refocus on people and connection.

On delivering value and trusting the process.

A reminder to take virality for what it is.

And not let it take me away from reality.

And I hope you do that too.